The Bachelorette: Wildlife Edition

You don’t need to be a 20-year-old girl to appreciate this: Before competing for love was a reality TV show, it was real life in the animal kingdom. These ladies are looking for suitors beginning this month—and they move just as fast as their TV counterparts. Hit your local trails to spot them flaunting their stuff.

Manatee

Region Florida and Gulf Coast
See her 3.6-mile Pine Island Trail, Blue Spring State Park, FL
Contestant bio This sea cow is a free spirit who uses her voluptuous looks to attract dozens of bulls, stringing them along for weeks. She’s looking for a lover who is as laid back as she is—and is OK with a very open relationship.

White-tail deer

Region Lower 48
See her 9.1-mile Stevenson Branch Trail, TN
Contestant bio This doe is looking for a good buck—the kind of male who will skip meals just to get it on. There’s no pretending she isn’t a size queen, though: The stag with the biggest, thickest antlers will get her attention every time. 

Wild hog

Region California and Gulf Coast
See her 10-mile Black Creek Trail, DeSoto National Forest, MS
Contestant bio This razorback makes tiger moms look like kittens. She’s into boars that fight for her, but clingers need not apply: She wants to be left with her BFFs to raise her fierce little pigs as a girl-power group. 

Porcupine

Region West, Rockies, Midwest, and Northeast
See her 23.7-mile Lightning Lake Trail, ID
Contestant bio This porcupine doesn’t waste time when it comes to hooking up—after all, she’s only fertile 12 hours every year. But this feminist makes the most of her day, netting multiple spiky suitors (and screaming while she does it). 

Big brown bat

Region Lower 48
See her 1-mile Milo McIver Bat Trail, OR
Contestant bio There’s no denying this bat-chelorette is more committed to her friends than her baby daddy. Agile guys don’t often heed the warning though, shacking up with this player before she inevitably kicks them out of her cave.