NEW MEMBER OFFER!

Get 35% off GOES, your essential outdoor guide

LEARN MORE

GET MORE WITH OUTSIDE+

Enjoy 35% off GOES, your essential outdoor guide

UPGRADE TODAY

Why You Should Never Pee on the Fire

You’ll be very sorry—and very, very smelly.

Heading out the door? Read this article on the new Outside+ app available now on iOS devices for members! Download the app.


Campfire
Campfire (Photo by webhamster/Flickr)

I don’t remember where I heard that peeing on a fire is a reasonable way to put it out. It certainly seemed reasonable before I tried it: Here’s an on-board supply of waste liquid, I’d thought. Waste liquid I’d made from beer, because my body is a temple. I remember holding “it” until I figured I’d have plenty for the task, and then, less than a minute into it, thinking, Dang, my bladder’s not big enough. Then, shortly thereafter, uttering a phrase I’m not likely to forget: “Dude, can you help me piss on this fire?” Steam and the acrid smell of warm, pee-scented fumes worked into our clothes and hair and nostrils—and long-term memories. Never try to extinguish a fire with pee; there’s not enough beer in the world for the task.

Popular on Backpacker