10 Things Your Hiking Partner Hates About You

We polled hundreds of hikers about their partner pet peeves. Do you have any of these habits?

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(Photo: Jordan Siemens/Getty Images)

On the trail, pet peeves can seem dangerously unassuming at first. Maybe your hiking partner is fond of plant identification, or singing, or taking iPhone photos of weird bug larvae. At the trailhead, it seems cute. By mile two, it’s gotten a little old. By mile 15, you’re ready to turn around and strangle them with their own bootlaces.

The magical and terrible thing about hiking is that you get to spend a lot of concentrated quality time with your adventure buddy. If you’re well-matched, it’s great. But if they have poor trail etiquette or happen to do that one thing that drives you nuts, then you’re in for a long trip.

I’ve been the peeved party on more than one occasion. But as someone who has a lot of quirks (and therefore potentially peevish habits), I began to wonder: Am I ever the problem? Who am I unwittingly pissing off? What are the habits that most hikers drop partners over?

To find out, I posted queries to Instagram, three Reddit threads, and several groups of hiking friends. Within 24 hours, I had hundreds of answers. Many of the respondents said they’ve sworn off hiking partners altogether because so many human beings are just so goddamned annoying. Some confessed to years-long marital disputes. Others said their hiking buddies often roll in animal scat, drag them off-trail after squirrels, and tear up tent floors with their long nails. I’m only hoping this latter group is referring to dogs. If not, sign me up for the soloist camp.

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I was even more surprised at how many repeat answers I got. While some people railed against specific behaviors (like vaping, snoring, or leaving fruit peels in camp), dozens mentioned the same egregious behaviors time and time again.

The 10 most common hiking partner pet peeves

Here are the 10 most common partner pet peeves—plus a little advice on how to address each issue and save your hiking relationships.

Hiking too fast (or too slow)

The peeve: The most common complaint across platforms was about pace. Some folks can’t stand slow hikers. Others are happy to amble but abhor frequent breaks. Others still can’t understand why fast hikers can’t just calm the hell down and enjoy the view. Also included in this category: the dreaded “F-you stop.” If you often wait for your slower friends to catch up to you—and then take off again as soon as they do—then you are an F-you stopper. And the Internet hates you.

The solution: Decide ahead of time whether you and your partner will hike together or separately. If at least one of you wants to hike together, honor that, and let the slower hiker walk first. That keeps the faster person in check and saves them from having to constantly look over their shoulder. If you decide to hike separately, make a plan for when (and how often) you’ll reconvene. And just cut it out with the F-you stops; nobody likes them.

Bailing at the last minute

The peeve: No one likes a buddy who changes the plan, especially at the last minute. It’s disrespectful because it leaves the remaining hiker very little time to line up a new partner.

The solution: If you have a partner who constantly bails on you, have a kind but candid conversation about how their behavior affects your ability to plan. Tell them that it’s important to you that your time feels respected. You can also ask them to be more honest with you in the future: If they can’t fully commit or aren’t 100-percent excited about a trip, they should say so right away so you can move forward.

Taking too many pictures (or identifying too many plants)

The peeve: Redditors (and many of my friends, apparently) can’t stand partners who take pictures of every little thing, especially when they stop the caravan to do so. Similar peeves: overzealous plant identification, wildlife identification, and birding. “No one cares!” one respondent put it succinctly. They’re not alone, apparently.

The solution: If your partner is a photographer, birder, or botanist, kindly let them know that you don’t give a shit. For example: “I love that you have this hobby, but I like to get lost in thought when I hike, and I don’t always have the bandwidth to engage with all your observations.” Then, give them a quota. Maybe they’re allowed two photos per day, three birding moments before lunch, or five botanical discoveries over the course of the week. And if you’re the naturalist, save your scouting for solo hikes or designated outings with like-minded friends.

Talking too much

The peeve: I was shocked at how many people said they’d dropped partners who talk too much on the trail. While some hikers like to yap on hikes, the majority of my poll respondents said they don’t like a chatty Cathy, especially when they’re trying to enjoy their nature time.

The solution: Instead of ditching your partner or snapping at them, ask if you can have an hour to yourself to listen to music, appreciate nature, or get lost in thought. Explain that this is the only time you get to experience quiet during the week, and that this sense of peace is really important to you. Most folks will respect that boundary. If they don’t? Find a new partner.

Apologizing too much

The peeve: A few respondents said they’re happy to hike with a slower or less experienced partner, but can’t stand it when that person apologizes for every little thing. It makes sense: It takes a lot of energy to reassure someone all the time, especially if you’re already moderating your pace or hiking style for them, too.

The solution: If you’re on the receiving end of all the apologies, tell your friend they get just one sorry per day. If you’re the manic apologizer, make a blanket request for forgiveness in advance of the trip, then stop there. Own your capability and keep your head held high.

Not feeding themselves

The peeve: About a dozen respondents complained of partners who never accept snack breaks, don’t eat enough, and then get hangry—thus becoming a miserable companion.

The solution: If you’re hiking, it’s your job to eat, drink, take care of your feet, and layer appropriately. Not wanting to hold up the group is natural. But if you become dehydrated, sweaty, hypothermic, blistered, or cranky, then you’re going to hold up the group far more. If you’re the peeved party, explain this with as much gentleness as you can muster. If you’re the peeve, start taking better care of yourself—even if you have to stop the group for a quick minute here and there to do so.

Complaining

The peeve: Yes, commiserating can be cathartic. But complaining about something that has no solution is grating. The outdoors can be uncomfortable, but few people want to focus on the negatives.

The solution: If your hiking partner is a complainer, tell them you’d like to keep the focus on the positive. If they can take it, tell them the negativity is bringing you down and impacting your ability to enjoy the experience. Another good trick: Anytime your partner says something negative, ask them to name three things that are going well for them right now. (This, of course, is a total chore, which can make them more likely to stop.)

Not coming prepared

The peeve: The people have spoken—and they don’t want to pick up your slack. Answers in this category ranged far and wide. Some top picks:

• When they forget a battery block and expect to use yours
• When they never research the hike details even though you shared the link
• When they ask for a bite every time you open up a new snack
• When they never bring a jacket and always expect to use yours

The solution: If your hiking partner is always using your stuff, sit them down and explain that coming unprepared is a safety risk for both of you. You’re happy to help out in a pinch, but you expect your buddy to have all their own needs accounted for. Offer to share your packing list with them ahead of time if you think that will help.

Not yielding to uphill traffic

The peeve: Poor hiking etiquette can be embarrassing—whether that’s taking up the whole trail, stepping on fragile alpine tundra or desert crust, or barging past the uphillers when you’re on the descent. Experienced hikers want partners who know the rules of engagement.

The solution: Most people with poor etiquette simply don’t know the rules. Ask your hiking partner whether they’ve heard about trail right-of-way. If they say no, gently explain that downhill hikers should always yield to uphill hikers. Bikers should yield to hikers of all kinds, and everyone should yield to horses.

Not helping around camp

The peeve: You do all the planning, all the driving, most of the packing, or all of the camp chores, and your good-for-nothing partner never even offers to help out.

The solution: If you’re a new hiker, understand that backpacking comes with a long chore list. Anytime you’re not sure what you’re supposed to be doing—or notice your partner doing something for the group—ask them how you can help. If you’re the experienced hiker and your partner is clueless, delegate: “I’ll set up the tent and filter water if you make dinner and hang up the bear bag.”

Honorable mention pet peeves

Some pet peeves weren’t common but still bear mentioning—especially because some of them are pretty dang funny.

• “Your partner crop dusting in your face all day.” —Alyssa Lieb
• “When they don’t realize you’re sucking wind and want a full-blown conversation.” —Angela Crampton
• “When people cotton-shame on short hikes.” —Tyler Kempney
• “Anyon who uses bear bells.” —Anonymous
• “People who insist they can’t take the tent down until it’s fully dry—which might be 10:00 AM.” —Jesse Crocker
• “When they need to cathole and take forever.” —Stef Kuo
• “When they spend the whole time telling you about hiking with someone else and why it’s better.” —Anonymous
• “When your fitter, asshole partner doesn’t wait for you and gets a mile ahead, like you just carpooled together to do separate solo hikes for some reason instead of to enjoy the camaraderie of a shared experience and conversation, DAN.” —Kevin Corrigan, who assures us that Dan is a pseudonym
• “Checking texts while walking behind.” —Eric Henderson
• “When your friend holds out her trekking poles horizontally so no one can pass.” —Heather Grady
• “Wearing strong scents. I don’t want to smell your cologne, buddy.” —Anonymous
• “Getting stabbed in the Achilles with trekking poles.” —Anonymous