Whole Fools

For all the natural eaters out there, Whole Foods Market is an oasis of fresh food, produce, and domestic goods. I often visit my local store just to walk around, aimlessly nibbling on samples, picking up foods I’ve never heard of, and trying to understand what purpose each of those thousands of different vitamins serves.

But with springtime right around the corner and the birth of new month, some changes are in the offing for the Whole Foods brand: According to the market’s website the market now has new products, recipes, and even a new store opening to share. Let’s take a look:

First, as a new addition to the market’s homegrown line of moderately-priced products, the store will introduce 365 Everyday Value Organic Air. The air comes in a small spray bottle, and features scents like ‘Sea Breeze,’ ‘Mountain Wind’ and ‘Salt and Vinegar.’ For all you Plain Janes out there, you can also purchase organic air in ‘Original.’

Next, the website offers a few new mouthwatering recipes, including Ham and Asparagus Shortcake, Indian Amazonian Guatemalan Honduran Balinese Rice, Chianti-Gorgonzola Popsicles and, my personal favorite, Deep-fried Pork Éclairs. Yum.

When you’re good and stuffed from all that culturally-confused rice and perplexing use of gorgonzola, why not head over and check out the company’s newest and best store yet? The catch: It’s thousands of miles away, located in lovely Antarctica.

With resident penguins lined up around the block to get a look at a Whole Foods store “90 percent devoted to seafood,” though, it might be hard to get inside. James Caird, that store’s team leader, says they hope to add a produce department sometime next year.

If any Antarctican Backpacker readers would like to send me an e-mail review of how you like the new store and products, I’d appreciate it. All of us at the office are really jealous!

And, in case you couldn’t figure it out: April fools!

Have a happy day of prankster fun from all of us at Backpacker Magazine.

–Matt Draper