Utah Hikers Go To Pot

If you’re out hiking in the wildernesses of Utah this summer, the DEA has a favor to ask: Watch out for weed, will ya? Apparently, this year’s heavy snowfall means lots of water, so Drug Enforcement Administration officials are expecting high demand and a big growing year for every Deadhead’s favorite illegal cash crop.

The DEA is asking backcountry hikers and hunters to look out for and report signs of marijuana farming in the wild, hidden places of the state. But they want us to keep an eye out for more than just the plants themselves: Officials remind pot spotters to look for other clues like “random plastic piping, fertilizer bags, extra trash dumped just off the trail, and people with machine guns.”

People with machine guns?! Since when did the Wasatch front turn into a scene from No Country For Old Men? Frankly, if I see a brosef with an AK-47 out there, I’ll probably focus my priorities away from narc’ing and toward getting the hell out of dodge.

That’s not even the worst of it: Agents warn that recently, growers will protect their crops with “fish hook(s), which can catch people in the eye. Investigators say that’s a tactic gaining popularity in places like California, Oregon and Washington.”

Uh-huh. Fish hooks. In your eyes.

Screw that — If I go hiking in Utah this year, I’m going to the desert, where practically nothing grows and I can see a fish hook coming at my eye from a mile away.

— Ted Alvarez

DEA wants hikers to be on lookout for marijuana in backcountry (ksl.com)

Via The Adventurist