Grossest. Necklace. Ever.

I realize that this blog is called The Daily Dirt, and as such, it’s only fair to get a little dirty now and then. But we’re clearly going off the deep end on this one, people, so be warned.

This is a bit old, but still: Ultarunner Jan Ryerse, in a fit of what can only be described as madness, made a Puka-shell-style necklace out of his lost and blackened toenails from grueling races like Badwater and Western States. Even worse: He shows you how to make your own! Gaaah! Kill me!

OK, OK, let’s settle down a bit. Losing toenails is a common occurence for ultrarunners and long-distance hikers alike, we can agree on that. And from time to time, maybe some of us would like a memento to mark our trailside rites of passage. If I take a bracing shot of absinthe, I can sort of see how collecting the toenails and turning them into a piece of jewelry might serve as a reminder of and an organic (literally) connection to one’s history of accomplishment on the trail.

Did we mention that he takes donations?

In the immortal words of the sage prophet Garth Algar, I think I’m going to hurl. Quick everyone—distract yourself by watching this baby panda:

Whew. That was close.

—Ted Alvarez

Making Your Own Toenail Necklace (A Trail Runner’s Blog)