Don't Pee On A Geyser

In the annals of stupid human ideas, peeing on a geyser has to rank pretty high. In fact, trespassing anywhere near a giant natural fountain that spews scalding-hot water seems like a bad call. Nevertheless, six dudes received citations from Yellowstone National Park rangers on May 4 for going off trail one evening and venturing too close to Old Faithful. Two of the six also got in trouble for, yes, peeing on Old Faithful.

The manner in which they were caught is almost as strange: Old Faithful has two webcams pointed at it streaming live video and photos at all times; Old Faithful buffs watching from outside the park called rangers to report the wizzing weasels. Park officials were naturally pumped about these interactive watchdogs.

“This is a good example of the public having a stake in ownership and stewardship of places like Yellowstone,” (Chief ranger Tim) Reid said. “They’re for the people, and we appreciate public reports that help preserve public safety and protect the resource.”

All six micturating miscreants (who were only identified as employees of a park concessionaire) will face misdemeanor charges before a federal magistrate in the near future. Park rangers also note that the leaking louts were lucky to not break through the crust and get burned; every year, someone gets injured or even killed by disobeying warning signage and wandering a geothermal trap.

These pissing punks got extra lucky—imagine what would’ve happened if the Earth decided to piss back.

—Ted Alvarez

6 cited for walking into Old Faithful (Billings Gazette)

Image Credit: mrmoorey