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Oprah Winfrey — is there anything you can’t do? In addition to building schools in impoverished nations, making women 18-65 swoon, and surviving an infamous Cruise Missile, she’d also make a fantastic partner on a dayhike.
According to a survey by public relations firm CGPR and backed by USA Today’s Open Air lifestyle mag, 28.3 percent of respondents would most like to take a hike with Oprah Winfrey. Second place went to Bill Gates (22.1 percent), followed by George Clooney (15.8). I suppose it’s natural that Winfrey triumphed, since Gates would probably fly a jetpack up the path — that barely qualifies as hiking — and poor George Clooney would likely get swept away at the trailhead by a swift-moving river of ladies. Poor, poor, George.
In fact, hiking with Oprah could have huge benefits. You’re bound to witness tearful trail-side confessions, warm moments of hard-earned self actualization, and maybe even find free gear under your camp chair.
But if that braying Dr. Phil even thinks about showing up, I’m strapping on a jetpack and catching up with Billy-Boy.
— Ted Alvarez