While it's probably safe to assume that most of us would flip out if a massive fist-sized spider crawled up onto our shoulder, one Australian man with ice water running through his veins took great pains to coax this one off non-violently even after it crawled up his neck. If you can possibly stand it, check out the footage below:
It's over, right? The spider left? OK. Sorry, just had to get something from underneath the desk there for a second.
Anyway, I think we've all learned a valuable survival lesson here. The big winners: pacifism; the spider; that guy's pub reputation from here on out. The losers: our dreams tonight; the next person to encounter that spider.