Isabella Rosselini Makes 'Green Porno'

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Alright, alright, easy, down, boy — before you get all lathered up, I should clarify: "Green Porno" is a series produced by actress Isabella Rossellini for the Sundance Channel, but isn't hardcore in the way you're thinking (get your mind out of the gutter). In the each episode, Rossellini will explore how insects and other small invertebrates get down and dirty.

"Sundance's mission is to be a green channel ... so I knew the subject had to be about green. And so with these elements I thought, "Ah! Sex life of bugs!" Because everybody likes sex and is interested in sex. And people don't really think how strange the animals are around us."

Um, sure, Izzy. whatever you say. If someone commissioned me to make a movie for a green network, I can't say that bugs shacking up would pop into my head first. But I salute her for her creativity just the same.

In every episode, Rossellini will perform sex acts — dressed as a bug, mind you, in ridiculously bright-colored costumes. But she will attempt to mimic their behavior in full, from hermaphroditic behavior of snails to the rough trade of mollusks. If you don't get Sundance Channel, you can still watch all the episodes online.

"I chose insects because they are so [different] from us. Mammals, like a dog or a chimpanzee, might look too much like us. The films are very accessible. They are not shocking in any way. And I wanted it to be that way. Insects are so different from us that you can't even go close to anything that would shock us."

I don't know about that — maybe I'll reserve judgment on that last point until I see how far Rossellini goes on the praying-mantis-cannibal-mating episode. I'd really hate to costar with her that day.

— Ted Alvarez

Famed actress investigates green porno (CNN)