Pray you’re not ever in the same bar as James Grant, because this Kiwi will always beat you when the who’s-tougher-than-who stories come out. While spearfishing off New Zealand’s South Island in murky waters, Grant felt a pull on his leg. Yep: It was a SHARK. So he did what I’m sure any of us would do and fought it off with a knife:
"[I thought] bugger, now I have to try and get this thing off my leg," he said.
He already had a knife in his hand and stabbed at the shark. "I am not sure how effective it was. I guess it let go so something must have happened. [I] put a few nicks in it."
Grant then did what I would do: He stitched his leg himself and went to a beachside bar to have a frickin’ beer. He only bandaged himself up when the bartender pointed out he was bleeding on the floor. Here, watch him tell the story to Reuters:
OK, granted, I’ll give it to you James Grant: you’re pretty damn tough. But I once got scratched by my cat while watching Felicity, and I managed to stop crying long enough to finish my Bartles & James. So, pretty much the same.