Has Santa ever gotten due credit as an outdoorsman? We know he's a great climber (of chimneys), he's well-versed in arctic survival skills, and his layering techniques are second to none (itís the North Pole, people).
But if you think Santa's still delivering presents with a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer, I've got news for you: STOP LIVING IN THE PAST. Remember that white beard blazing past you at Teva Mountain Games? The muddy n' chubby guy who gave out sugar plums at Tough Mudder this year? None other than St. Nick. And all that adventure racing was just a warm-up: Nowadays he likes to bust a move and deliver a few presents parkour-style. Watch:
None of this is really surprising, of course. If you go back to eyewitness accounts from back in the day, there's proof that Kris Kringle (street name: Mr. CLAWZ) has been doing parkour for a long time:
"As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound. "
Classic monkey leap.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!
Epic stem move.
See? Parkour is old hat for St. Nick. But maybe you should leave out some Clif Bars instead of cookies this year.