Gear Test: Take Your Pants Off

Be bold and wear this hiking kilt on trail--you (and the ladies) will thank us

The author demonstrates proper hitchhiking technique while wearing a kilt.

Why do men want to take their pants off? Let me count the ways: There’s our most basic urge. There’s mass quantities of booze. There’s the combination of the two. And now, thankfully, there’s another excuse to drop trou: Mountain Hardwear’s update of their Mountain Kilt.

The new version is called the Elkommando Kilt ($75, 15oz). It comes out next spring, and I got a preview last week in Rocky Mountain National Park. I set off with from Fall River Road on a big dayhike through the Mummy Range. Other than Mountain Hardwear’s pack designer, I was the only dude. And I was certainly the only person in the group (and probably in the park) wearing a kilt or skirt-thing of any type.

Without further adieu, here's my analysis of my skirt-thing hiking experience:

First off, it’s a kilt. Not a skirt. There were definitely a lot of “hey, cool skirt!” comments floating around. There are basically two ways to respond to this. 1) Correct that person, as I mostly chose to (the irascible approach). 2) Just say “thanks, man” (the hell cares approach). But one thing's for sure: Wearing a kilt definitely requires an attitude that’s both bold and carefree. If you don’t have this attitude naturally, a kilt will help you foster one along. It requires cojones.

And speaking of cojones, after I stepped out of the car, only 2.3 seconds passed before another person in our group (a woman!) lifted up my kilt. In addition to drawing attention, a kilt also apparently erases social mores. Women, at least initially, do not respect the kilt in the same way that men respect a skirt.

But how does it perform in the mountains?

PROS
[Alleged]
1. It prevents chafing. Kilts have a cult following on longtrails for this reason. Check any hiking forum (including ours), and you’ll find a thread of thru-hikers touting the benefits switching to a kilt. Highlights: “if you hike sans underpants, you can save weight as well as time on laundry during town stops.”

[Confirmed]
1. Air-y-ness. The breeze is nice up there, I gotta say. Ever hovered over an AC vent in the summertime? That’s what I’m talking about. (I assume this pleasant zephyr is the key feature to those with the propensity for chafe-age).

2. Unrestricted striding. No, for the most part pants and shorts don’t limit range of motion that much, but you are truly limitless in a kilt.

3. My boss loves his.

4. Chicks dig it. Or at least, they seem to love mine. A word of warning, though: Wear undies, at least the first few times. I know that a “true Scotsman” goes commando under the kilt, but if your day-one is anything like mine, more people will see your nethers than any day since that time you drank a fifth of vodka out of a watermelon and, well, we all know we’re talking about me, so I’ll stop now. An AT thru-hiker friend of mine (a gal whose trail name is Teddy Ruxpin) saw a lot of kilts on her 2007 hike and says: “I also saw more junk than I ever wanted to. Guys should learn to cross their legs—or at least not to squat while cooking.”

5. Comfy waistband. The conical waist is fleecy and sits flat under my pack’s belt more comfortably than just about any shorts and pants have.

CONS
1. Pleats. I don’t think a kilt drastically out-performs a pair of shorts, but at the same time, I can’t think of a single thing I didn’t like about it, performance-wise. I’m not a big fan of the pleats in back, but that’s tradition.

2. Limited to trail use. It’s a trail-only piece of apparel for me. I don’t suggest wearing it at the office, as I did yesterday as an experiment. It’s way less of a problem to display your boxers (or worse) on accident on the trail than it is in the conference room. Oops.

Bottom line: Hiking should be about fun and new experiences, and wearing a kilt can make the whole act of walking new again. Let it all hang out.

—Shannon Davis

Conquering the mountains, in a skirt.

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READERS COMMENTS

Who cares what others say, most comfortable piece of clothing on a hot day.
Posted: Jan 01, 2012 Newman

Your kilt is a skirt. Being in the denial mode is a sure indicator of sexual insecurity.
Posted: Dec 30, 2010 Dave

My Boyfriend has a utilikilt and wears it all the time. It is the best article of clothing ever! Wearing a kilt for him is a way of life. Being with a man who wears a kilt is awesome and I wouldn't want it any other way.
Posted: Aug 03, 2010 EM

I bought one of the Elkommando kilts and it is the most comfortable garment that I own. It is so much more comfortable than even baggy shorts that if I had the nerve to wear a kilt all the time, I'd invest in a Utilikilt as well. Try it, you'll like it.
Posted: Apr 27, 2010 GM

I have been wearing these since about 2001. I hike, ski, trek, I even took a spin on my Harley with it just for fun. It is impossibly perfect. I had a utilakilt but it weighs about 10 lbs and no good for anything but winter hiking. I give it a thumbs up as do the girls. I have yet to try the new one with please but am happy enough with my old one. I like it so much I bought a few extra's just incase they stopped making them, well I still havnt been able to wear out my first one which has been all over the world. I also wear mine in public but I could care less about what ther people think. I got harrased once and asked the guy what his friends would think when he got his ass kicked by a guy wearing a skirt. He didnt stick around long enough to find out.
Posted: Apr 16, 2010 alan

Definite improvement over the previous "Mountain Kilt." The added pleats help it look less like a skirt. And the darker color does help with not showing dirt. The Utilikilt is a great kilt - no disagreement there. But this kilt is much lighter, breezier, and trail friendly - and demands much less upkeep. This is a great kilt. It's encouraging for the kilt-wearing clan to see kilts evolving and becoming more and more user friendly. And, for the quality and durability you get with this kilt, it's really not that pricey.
Posted: Apr 08, 2010 Ken Johnson

very cool but kind of pricey
Posted: Mar 31, 2010 jim

Um, it is definitely a skirt! A man wearing a skirt. Not that hasn't been done before, but it is what it is.
Posted: Dec 14, 2009 Mary Robin

When available, I'll buy myself one. That's for sure!
Posted: Dec 01, 2009 Greg

One comment above "That thing doesn't even come close to a Utilikilt!"
Yep and it's no where close the price!
Posted: Nov 30, 2009 Dave S.

Great piece of gear. I'm glad they are making it in a darker color; the older model always had dirt marks and such after sitting down.
Posted: Oct 27, 2009 Keith Kuhnsman

In a kilt, it's called regimental, not commando.

As for the pleats, well, if it didn't have pleats, it would merely be a skirt. A kilt is a type of skirt, true, but the pleats help define it as a kilt. Plus, the pleats allow for more range of motion.
Posted: Oct 11, 2009 norm

Cool...until he dumped you. Then it was girly.
Posted: Oct 06, 2009 Narrator

I hike in a kilt often! It is THE only way to do it! Remember, a man in a Kilt is a MAN AND A HALF!
Posted: Oct 02, 2009 Bryan Enberg

That thing doesn't even come close to a Utilikilt!
Posted: Oct 01, 2009 Stephanie

For those of you that want a Tartaned look for your hiking Kilt, check out Sport Kilt's Hiking Kilt. It is lightweight and available in 3 pattens. For those interested, here is the link:

http://www.sportkilt.com/category/52/Hiking-Kilt.html
Posted: Oct 01, 2009 Dan Riethmuller

My Ex-boyfriend used to hike in a skirt he made, he usually went commando with a wrap skirt he made out of a small piece of cloth. I thought that was cool!
Posted: Oct 01, 2009 Renae Lindsay