SUBSCRIBE | NEWSLETTERS | MAPS | VIDEOS | BLOGS | MARKETPLACE | CONTESTS
TRY BACKPACKER FREE!
SUBSCRIBE NOW and get
2 Free Issues and 3 Free Gifts!
Full Name:
Address 1:
Address 2:
City:
State:
Zip Code:
Email: (required)
If I like it and decide to continue, I'll pay just $12.00, and receive a full one-year subscription (9 issues in all), a 73% savings off the newsstand price! If for any reason I decide not to continue, I'll write "cancel" on the invoice and owe nothing.
Your subscription includes 3 FREE downloadable booklets.
Or click here to pay now and get 2 extra issues
Offer valid in US only.
Share your tales of travel & adventure with our step-by-step guide. Upload trail descriptions, photos, video, and more. Get Started

Searching for "humor/funny"

Escape to Oblivion

Ever want to chuck it all and sail away, like these two?




Merry Christmas campers! This holiday blog post comes in the form of a shout-out to two of my in-laws, Jeff and Nancy Kirstein. And why, you may rightly ask, is this relevant to Backpacker types?

Well, because wilderness travel is, at heart, all about escaping the drudgery of feedlot civilization and immersing yourself in the real world. You don't necessarily need a backpack to do that. Let us consider for a moment that most time-honored form of escape: sailing off into uncharted waters, ultima thule, 'here be dragons' country.

Throughout history, thousands of adventurers have weighed anchor and literally tried to sail off the edge of the earth. Erik the Red did it in 982 AD, when he discovered Greenland. Leif Erikson (Red's son), probably made it to the American northeast. St. Brendan the Irish monk navigator might have reached America in the 6th century. Chinese junks apparently landed in Brazil in 1421. Seventy one years later Christobal Columbo definitely washed up in the Caribbean, and Italian Giovanni Caboto (John Cabot to the English who employed him) tagged Nova Scotia on the North American mainland in 1487. And then there's Vasco de Gamma, Magellan, Francis Drake, Captain Cook, George Vancouver, Jack Sparrow...you get the idea.

Yes, they were all global explorers, but the exploration was really a convenient excuse to escape 'syphillisation' and find something more exciting or rewarding - Just like it is for modern backpackers.

Well, Jeff and Nancy are following that proud tradition. Read Full Story...
Thursday, December 24, 2009 in: Survival, Humor/funny
View Comments (2)

The Guiding Life Part II

Escape from Zion -- with a 100% survival rate!



Greetings campers,  from Las Vegas, Sin City, Glitter Gulch, the Entertainment Capital of the World - if you're a male with weaning issues, anyway. I wanted to blog some from Zion and Bryce, but with a schedule that ran non-stop from 6:30 a.m to 9:30 p.m., that just wasn't gonna happen.

Now all the clients/guests/friends from our trip have bolted for the airport, and most of the post-trip chores are done - the food inventoried, the checklists checked, the expense report reported, the 15-passenger van cleaned and gassed - so I'm temporarily stored here with the rest of the equipment, awaiting the arrival of Lynn Gordon, my assistant guide for Round II, and the next dozen weary, interesting metro refugees yearning for blue skies, red rock and sore muscles.

I'm left with little to do but lounge poolside, just across Tropicana from the Hard Rock Cafe, working hard to tan some pasty body parts between neck and knees, and trying with modest success to think pure and wholesome thoughts. The square miles of racy billboards and acres of tanned flesh here at poolside do not make that easy. But I can always think of Mistress Betty's flashing blue eyes and the fact that I possess no Kevlar underwear, and voila! improper thoughts wilt faster than asparagus after a frost. Read Full Story...
Saturday, September 19, 2009 in: Survival, Humor/funny
View Comments (0)

Heroic Headgear: Cold Weather Fashion for the Fearless

Winter's almost here. Time to get your cool on.

I don't know about your neck of the woods, but nights are getting chillier here in Torrey, Utah, and the aspen are beginning to turn gold. That means it's time to check your winter gear and fill in any gaps for the coming arctic months.

Of course, since we're still in economic recession, you'll probably make do with your pre-existing shells, parkas and skis. But recession or not, fashion marches on, and one of the most potent statements one you can make is in the headwear department. Let's face it kiddies; wear the wrong chapeau, and you might as well have a giant L for loser branded on your forehead.

In days of yore, a basic knit cap or Peruvian flap hat earned you cred, but that was sooooo pre-Twitter 2008. Now you've got to get creative.  So, to keep you campers warm and up to date, here's a selection of distinctive cranial coverings. Warning! Fashion wimps  need not apply. Read Full Story...
Tuesday, September 08, 2009 in: Survival, Humor/funny
View Comments (4)

My Profile Join Now

Most recent threads

Gear
Ruined jacket in dryer
Posted On: Sep 01, 2014
Submitted By: SWest
Trailhead Register
Stick is fine
Posted On: Sep 01, 2014
Submitted By: eyebp
Go
View all Gear
Find a retailer

Special sections - Expert handbooks for key trails, techniques and gear

Check out Montana in Warren Miller's Ticket to Ride
Warren Miller athletes charge hard and reflect on Big Sky country, their love for this space and the immense energy allotted to the people who reside in Montana.

Boost Your Apps
Add powerful tools and exclusive maps to your BACKPACKER apps through our partnership with Trimble Outdoors.

Carry the Best Maps
With BACKPACKER PRO Maps, get life-list destinations and local trips on adventure-ready waterproof myTopo paper.

FREE Rocky Mountain Trip Planner
Sign up for a free Rocky Mountain National Park trip planning kit from our sister site MyRockyMountainPark.com.

Follow BackpackerMag on Twitter Follow Backpacker on Facebook
Get 2 FREE Trial Issues and 3 FREE GIFTS
Survival Skills 101 • Eat Better
The Best Trails in America
YES! Please send me my FREE trial issues of Backpacker
and my 3 FREE downloadable booklets.
Full Name:
City:
Address 1:
Zip Code:
State:
Address 2:
Email (required):
Free trial offer valid for US subscribers only. Canadian subscriptions | International subscriptions