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The Guiding Life Part II

Escape from Zion -- with a 100% survival rate!

Greetings campers,  from Las Vegas, Sin City, Glitter Gulch, the Entertainment Capital of the World - if you're a male with weaning issues, anyway. I wanted to blog some from Zion and Bryce, but with a schedule that ran non-stop from 6:30 a.m to 9:30 p.m., that just wasn't gonna happen.

Now all the clients/guests/friends from our trip have bolted for the airport, and most of the post-trip chores are done - the food inventoried, the checklists checked, the expense report reported, the 15-passenger van cleaned and gassed - so I'm temporarily stored here with the rest of the equipment, awaiting the arrival of Lynn Gordon, my assistant guide for Round II, and the next dozen weary, interesting metro refugees yearning for blue skies, red rock and sore muscles.

I'm left with little to do but lounge poolside, just across Tropicana from the Hard Rock Cafe, working hard to tan some pasty body parts between neck and knees, and trying with modest success to think pure and wholesome thoughts. The square miles of racy billboards and acres of tanned flesh here at poolside do not make that easy. But I can always think of Mistress Betty's flashing blue eyes and the fact that I possess no Kevlar underwear, and voila! improper thoughts wilt faster than asparagus after a frost. Read Full Story...

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Saturday, September 19, 2009 in: Survival, Humor/funny
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Heroic Headgear: Cold Weather Fashion for the Fearless

Winter's almost here. Time to get your cool on.

I don't know about your neck of the woods, but nights are getting chillier here in Torrey, Utah, and the aspen are beginning to turn gold. That means it's time to check your winter gear and fill in any gaps for the coming arctic months.

Of course, since we're still in economic recession, you'll probably make do with your pre-existing shells, parkas and skis. But recession or not, fashion marches on, and one of the most potent statements one you can make is in the headwear department. Let's face it kiddies; wear the wrong chapeau, and you might as well have a giant L for loser branded on your forehead.

In days of yore, a basic knit cap or Peruvian flap hat earned you cred, but that was sooooo pre-Twitter 2008. Now you've got to get creative.  So, to keep you campers warm and up to date, here's a selection of distinctive cranial coverings. Warning! Fashion wimps  need not apply. Read Full Story...

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Tuesday, September 08, 2009 in: Survival, Humor/funny
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